Super Trench Attack

by Retro Army

Vitals:

• Top Down Shoot'em Up 
• Worth the price ($4.99)
• Approx. 6 hour playtime
• Low replay value

It’s a pixelesque day on Pebble Beach. Green Star soldiers relax on the sand, drinking soda while their tin pan helmets shade and likely chaff their scalps. Out past the surf and sea-mines seagulls call their affections to each other. Suddenly the menacing armada of the questionably competent Black Army appears on the horizon. Within moments the beach is overrun, Green Star soldiers are run up flagpoles by their underwear, bunkers are defaced with anti-Green Star propaganda and ice cream cones are brutally smashed and left to melt under the onslaught of the blazing sun. And so a war begins for the survival of the Green Star Nation and with it the journey of one unlikely, possibly immortal, butt chinned pornography connoisseur.

                The world of Super Trench Attack is wonderfully conceived. Even in the darkest moments of warfare humor and absurdity rule the land. It’s clear that the developers went out of their way to make the characters and plot ridiculous in every way they could. The result is a lighthearted romp through the trenches and battlefields of a conflict which clearly draws inspiration from our own World Wars.

               Our hero unabashedly celebrates his success

  The majority of the gameplay involves shooting your way across beaches, fields and towns to complete specific objectives such as clearing bunkers, blowing up tanks or repeatedly rescuing the Green Star Armies highly skilled spy and master of disguise. The lighthearted feel that makes the game is present even in simple shootouts, scoring a foot shot will sometimes cause an enemy soldier to drop his pants stunning him for a moment; enemies killed with grenades or explosive barrels will be reduced to ash in classic ACME style. Unfortunately the basic game mechanic quickly wears thin. With a few rare exceptions enemies are identical in tactics and armaments, only changing their physical appearance and overall life total. The player is given the opportunity to purchase upgrades and perks unfortunately this only ever keeps them up to pace in an arms race to equivalency and new combat or game-play mechanics are never introduced. The challenge doesn't really increase either since throughout the game death results only in a silly interlude before the player is returned to their tent in camp with the option to immediately teleport to the most recent checkpoint. Upon returning to the front-lines they will find that none of the enemies have re-spawned and they are free to casually stroll back to where they died and continue the fight. By the end of the game being killed is little more than an annoyance and one wonders why death or health packs are even included in the game at all.

You may be outnumbered but you're also immortal so things kinda balance out

The boss fights are disappointing as well. There are a few active and engaging battles against large mechanized machines of war that are somewhat reminiscent of Metal Slug bosses, only here they’re top down instead of side scrolling. Unfortunately these are far outnumbered by the amount of shooting galleries that pass themselves off as boss fights, stationary point and click to win events that seem like something off a banner ad. After surviving an exciting battle against a giant mechanized submarine each one of these trials winds up feeling like a lazy slobber in the eye.

It was better with the Light Gun

               Super Trench Attack is an enjoyable game even if only because of the absurdity of the world and the characters in it. Most game-play mechanics are amusing but tire quickly and won’t hold much, if any, entertainment value after the first, approximately 6 hour, play through. However the game is available for $4.99 on Steam so despite its shortcomings it definitely ranks as a title that’s worth its price.